十一翎的天空

Like I've said earlier, (quite long ago) I will only post in English when I'm really not in the mood.

Yes I'm feeling vexed over certain stuff.

I just rejected going for my Hall's D&D interview. Reason being, I'm afraid I couldn't cope. And, I'm not too sure if I want to stay on for the next academic year (and provided I'm still around). As I looked back over the past 2 months, I hadn't been doing what I'm really like. Going to Stats is something quite neutral to me, even for other courses I think I will feel the same way too. Uh.. don't know. My social life kind of suck because I couldn't interact well with my friends (why?) I don't know the reason too. Often I give the reason as 'different frequency', is it really the truth? You see, even I'm doubting myself. There are so many co-curricular activities that I can choose to participate, yet I'm standing rooted to the ground. I didn't go for them. Why. Fear of interview isn't a really good excuse. Afterall I've went for some interviews during sec sch and jc days and things turned out to be fine. But when it comes to university, I am too reluctant in doing anything. Simply making a decision can take me a long time. Am I not going out of my comfort zone or I know what's best for me (at least for now)? Even though last time I may not be that proactive or any high flyer, at least I won't react in a way "no-no" to anything. Yet now I'm doing that, for everything it seems. What had gone wrong? And I'm spending time sitting here and my brain just goes on and on thinking why this why that what happen to me. I could have better make use of the time by...doing something (probably non-academic related?)

If I'm still studying here for the next few years. No this is not the kind of life I want. Uni life shouldn't be like this. I wanna play too! And all about networking.

Maybe I just need a little more faith that I can do it and everything's gonna be fine. I will still be here, until the day after I wore the academic dress and threw the square academic cap up high in the sky. It's not an easy journey, but I can brave through. No worries. Hang on and move on.